PoBoy Festival: Breaking the curse

Something, or someone, doesn't want me to go to the Oak Street Po-Boy Festival. It seems that over the past several years, fate has conspired to make me miss one of the most popular festivals of the year and it's literally, right around the corner. Severe illness, atrocious hangovers, unexpected family get-togethers, heinous women's issues and an overwhelming distaste for being packed in, teeth-by-jowl, like Bourbon Street on Mardi Gras Day, have come in between me and several hours of pure po-boy bliss. Not this year, I say (perhaps with too much confidence). This year, I have a plan.

After perusing the offerings at this year's fest, I have devised a strategy that will allow me to hit the highlights within a short period of time and make it back to my apartment to share my spoils with John who (surprise, surprise) has caught the flu. Now keep in mind, I love all of the vendors and music that will be rockin' Oak Street this year, but in the interest of sanity, I've had to keep the list short, avoiding experiences I could have any other day of the year. Additionally, I need to get back home to tend to John, after all, he would do it for me.

The Po-Boy Plan:

• I figure I can start out closer to River Road and work my way back up. If I leave my house at 9:30 AM, I can easily make it to #31 on the map, Bratz Y'all, which is just a block short of Cowbell. Why am I trekking such lengths? Well, among their many offerings, Bratz Y'all is kicking down "The NOLA Schnitzel Po-Boy with breaded and fried pork loin topped with a crawfish remoulade slaw. Any more questions?
• From there, I can make my way up and over to the corner of Leonidas and Plum Street at #26 for a Mexican Cheesesteak Po-Boy from VFW- NOLA Veterans of Foreign Wars. I don't know about you, but slow-braised beef and poblanos smothered in chihuahua cheese sauce sounds like a killer second course.
• I'll just keep heading up Plum Street after VFW and make the block, coming around to Mahony's Po-Boy Shop vending at #19 on Joliet and Oak. Here, I'm either going to have to choose or simply buy both the Abita-Braised Short-Rib Po Boy with garlic mayo and fried onion rings; and the Grilled Shrimp & Avocado Po-Boy with a green-onion vinaigrette.
• By this time, I'll only have to trudge through the rapidly-growing crowds a few steps to reach #16, where Wayfare is kicking down, among other items, some Boudin Meat Pies. As you know, I've already tried their meat pies before and the crust is to-die-for delicious. I'm curious to taste one loaded with pork shoulder, liver, local long-grain rice and Creole honey mustard.
• Finally, I simply can't resist pushing my way through almost three blocks of insanity to reach #4 and what I think just might be the "pièce de résistance" this fest. One of the bend's best, Boucherie is offering a Corned Pork Belly Reuben Po-Boy with sesame sauerkraut, duck liver mousse and roasted red pepper dressing. Knowing me, I'll likely order some cracklins too. 
• PBFPPS (Po-Boy Fest Plan Post Script) - IF I am not tearing my hair out and the crowds are lenient, I wouldn't mind heading back to #9 on the corner of Dante for a "Black & Gold" - Nutella & Banana Crepe - from Crepes a la Cart.    

Stuffed and loaded with spares for John, I'll likely find the quickest route back to Zimpel and head home. Will I make it this year? We shall certainly see ... that is, if I don't catch John's flu.